About

Hi,

I am a 25 year old cradle Catholic/military brat. Upfront, I feel I should disclose that I should not be considered an authority on official church teaching. I have not graduated from any formal catechetical training. That said, between various informal participation in various youth groups growing up, theology on tap discussions, lectio divina groups, guided readings through encyclicals, and some personal knack and interest leading to contemplation and research, I have become somewhat confident in my ability to correctly communicate and defend the church’s teachings in various topics and  should therefore also be able to avoid the spread of any heresy, though I can not guarantee this, and suggest to always default to the churches teaching over my personal ideas whenever there is disagreement. To understand the churches dogma more officially I recommend reference to the Chatechism of the Catholic Church, which the USCCB makes available here. Catholic Answers forum is also a wonderful resource for this.

With the disclaimer out of the way-
This site is mostly born because I tend to be an introvert, and have spent a good deal of time living and in particular running alone, which to me seems to be very conducive to reflective meditation and prayer. Recently, through some discussions with various friends, it seems some insights that are given to me- often on runs though this is by no means exclusive- can be helpful to others as well. I have been in particular commented to that I should “write that down” fairly frequently over the past week or two (beginning of Lent 2018), and this blog is very much my attempt to do so.

In case it is of interest, my current spiritual practices include:

  • Staying up too late wasting time listening to music or fudging around on my phone causing me to be late to daily mass
  • Trying to maintain confession at 1-2 times a week (and being quickly reminded of how quickly I become lazy and fall off a slippery slope of progressively greater indifference to the relatively defined “small sins” until I choose to make a mortal sin and eventually begin missing the Eucharist,  and so find the motivation to confess again)
  • Assisting in teaching confirmation classes and youth group (high school level for both; distrust in myself to teach without His grace also motivates me to confession for the assurance it offers that He is with me)
    Prolonging my lunch break and enjoying some sunshine as I go for a walk and say a rosary on lunch break
  • 1-2 meetings a month for Opus-Dei talks and reflections. I have been on one of their retreats, highly recommended. Very good opportunity for relaxation, reflection, and a little bit of time at a slower pace and deeper contemplation.
  • Slowly recognizing and working to improve my reluctance to make concrete resolutions to position myself to better walk in His will (e.g.- beginning to recognize the tangible benefits of avoiding empty things [smutty shows, wasted time browsing useless articles of trivia in stead of sleeping, wasting a weekend binge watching some show], and by extension that the separation between physical and spiritual reality is MUCH thinner than American Culture would have you believe)
  • Struggling to forgive my self for the damage caused by the stubbornness, or my sheer stupidity, in choosing against what I know to be His good will. If when at the end of this life when I am made new it is into death rather than His life, I think it could very likely be that He allows this against His will to have me with him as a merciful response to my inability to overcome this struggle. Even knowing His mercifulness and forgiveness, if at the end I learn of some hesitation to follow Him that contributed to another one of His children turning away permanently, I think I may likely find myself unable to claim I tried my best to live for Him.

Sorry I am awful at keeping bullet points brief. Anyway, the main point of this site is to try to listen to my friends’ suggestion and ‘write it down’. The use of a prayer journal does not appeal to me personally since by the way my brain works an idea or an insight is too permeable to be written coherently when it is new. When it develops a consistent enough form to lend itself to be written, I have no trouble recalling it whenever it is relevant to my personal reflection. This gave me the simple conclusion, that if I am supposed to write about my reflections, it must be for others. Hence, the blog.

I do not expect this to be taken as “teaching” by anyone, and would strongly suggest to avoid considering myself a ‘superior’ Catholic, Christian, etc. to any reader in anyway. I am only an individual who has come to understand himself to have some unique insight. My hope is that this might inspire some new perspective that can helps others find clarity, or at the very least let them know that they aren’t alone if they find themselves in similar struggles or with similar curiosities.

Yours truly,

A soul stumbling around chasing the scent of grace so that my life may be spent well